you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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