I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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