When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
