I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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