this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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