sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
