I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
