just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
