just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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