Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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