I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
