Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
