So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
