as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
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He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
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She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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