My first STD was from a foam party
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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