So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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