At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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