i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
