I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
