hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
