I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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