either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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