I wish i was in the wii world.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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