eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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