Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
