So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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