Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
