Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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