I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize