so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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