What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Green mimosas i think yes
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
