remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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