I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
