sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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