i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
