tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
