if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
