her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As shirtless as possible
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
