It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
