How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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