the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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