I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
God I need to hump something, right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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