Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
