I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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