He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
