just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
