there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
