i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
