Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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