After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
