I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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