nut hugger
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
