Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
