the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize