Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
