i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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