i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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