Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
