If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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