got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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