BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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