i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
