***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
