okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
