I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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