i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
