its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
