Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
